At BU-Evolution we're very interested in exploring how we can learn to communicate with one another in an open, honest and nurturing way. This can be tricky, especially when i t comes to our intimate and romantic partnerships. Carl Jung , a Swiss Psychiatrist, put forward a theory known as the Anima Animus Archetypal Theory, although it's almost 100 years since he came up with his theory, some of it may still be useful today in helping us recognise our elationship patterns so what we can learn ways to avoid repeatedly making the same mistakes.
We are often told that happiness and love reside within, but so rarely do we find it.
In order to find love or happiness within ourselves or in our relationships we typically go outside ourselves, and if we don’t find the love or happiness that we’re seeking, we end up disappointed and before we know it, whether we’ve processed our old relationship or not, we’re back scrolling that dating app again.
The way we are raised and nurtured in childhood, has a direct influence on how we communicate and relate to others. Understanding Carl Jung’s theory of the Anima and Animus Archetypes can be a useful tool in helping us understand how we relate to our romantic partners. Jung suggested that men and women have both a masculine and feminine side to their personality when they are born with Anima being the feminine part of a man’s personality and Animus the masculine part of a woman’s personality. Jung goes on to say that typically men are nurtured and raised to suppress their feminine side, while women are nurtured and raised to suppress their masculine side. We then seek archetypal qualities in our partner that balance our suppressed masculine or feminine.
These archetypes are best viewed as a tier in the level of consciousness, with Stage 5 being the most conscious.
WOMEN
Stage 1: Male as Alien outsider: She fears, hates and is strangely attached to him.
Stage 2: Male as father God or King: She wants his approval.
Stage 3: Male as Hero: She wants to look up to him (Marry him).
Stage 4: Male as an Independent Being: She wants to find out who she is outside her relationship with men.
Stage 5: Male as a Partner: She wants him as an equal and opposite partner.
MEN
Stage 1: Female as Mother: He needs a mother to take care of him.
Stage 2: Female as Sex Object: He wants her to admire him/ be sexually submissive.
Stage 3: Female as Supportive Partner: He wants her to be caring loving wife who he provides for.
Stage 4: Female as creative/ spiritual guides: She challenges him to find meaning/ love from a source other than a woman.
Stage 5: Female as equal partner: He sees her as an equal and opposite partner.
For example - Stage 2 Male and Stage 2 Female partnership is the iconic Alpha Male/ Trophy Wife couple.
Stage 3 Male and Stage 3 Female partnership is the most common and is the nuclear family model.
Stage 4 for women, often leads to a mid-life crisis and/or divorce. This type of woman has spent her life in many relationships with men, and wants space to fully know herself.
What archetype are you? What archetype is your partner? Does this help you understand how you are currently dating and relating to potential partners?
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